After a brief blog hiatus, I'm back and refocused.
Adoption is a miracle and a blessing. It is also all-consuming. For eight months now, I have BREATHED adoption-related-everything. It's all I've thought about and all I've wanted to talk about. And for good reason. It is a terrifying journey, and also exciting and amazing.
I can tell you that I stopped listening to your answer to my "I'm good, thanks, and how are you?" a long time ago. That is so unlike me, and I don't like it! I've stopped connecting with other people the majority of the time. I am attached to the internet like you wouldn't believe, reading blogs and facebook statuses and loving photos of kids who are have recently come home. That's all well and good- in moderation. I am working on it :)
Here's the main problem. As my entire life has been consumed by adoption, I have lost sight of the bigger picture. Not the bigger picture of getting my kid home- oh no, that is still front and center and will be until he or she is home! But the bigger picture that I AM BLESSED, and need to share the wealth a little, even (especially?) as I am in-process.
The mere fact of me adopting means I am financially stable enough to do so. There are people who can't feed their kids. The mere fact of me adopting means I am in good physical health. There are people who are not, who need help. The mere fact of me adopting means I am in good mental health. There are so many who are downtrodden and in distress! The mere fact of me adopting means I have a solid roof over my head with no threat of it not being there tomorrow. There are so many who don't have that blessing today. And try as I might to justify that I am saving up for my own adoption, that I can't financially afford to bless others right now, that's just not true. I can do a little here and there and have full faith that God will still make ends meet one way or another. And I can certainly spend time doing service. Time I had convinced myself I didn't have, since I need to be working my second job and fundraising- but the fact is I need to make time. Period.
So I'm making a couple of changes. First, I am joining a local Rotary club- the same club that sponsored me ten years ago on my first humanitarian aid trip to Kenya. I am THRILLED to meet new people who have a heart for service and am so excited to get involved in some of their projects!
I am also getting back on track with exercising, swimming and walking. This helps me SO MUCH to be focused on the positive, to make eye contact with people I walk by, to enjoy nature, to get some sun, to lose those last few pounds I need to lose, and definitely will help me be ready for the Triathlon that is in, um, five weeks or so (eeks).
I am also scheduling time with good friends- via Skype, coffee dates (where I bring my own coffee to save money, lol), swim dates at the pool, etc. I am continually trying to refocus outside of myself, so if you see me zoning out, call me on it, please! I do NOT want to miss life during this process. Not living during this time won't bring a child home any faster, or make the process any less arduous.
